*Saying Goodbye*
~Rachel Livingston's Grandmother Visits Her In Her Dreams~
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I was young when my Grandmother died. She was a great lady and I loved her very much. She was always there for me. She taught me so much. We were very close.
When she was alive, I couldn't imagine life without her.
I hadn't prepared myself for her death. Even though she was sick and in the hospital before she died,
I thought she would pull through. But she didn't and it breaks my heart to this day.
On the night she died I was in my bed asleep. Before I went to sleep I knew she was still alive. I was in complete denial that she would ever die and leave me. My mom went to the hospital to see her that night right before I went to bed.
When I fell asleep I had this dream. I had a dream that there was this gazebo by a small lake. In the gazebo was my whole family. They were talking and laughing and having a good time. Then I looked over by the lake and saw my Grandma. She looked so sad.
I asked her: "What's wrong?" Then she said to me: "I'm going home now."
After she said that she lifted up the grass as if the grass were a cover. Then she laid down in the dirt and pulled the grass back over her. Confused, I asked everyone at the gazebo
"Where did Grandmama go?"
Then my Mother, who had just gotten back from the hospital, woke me up. It was then my Mother told me that my Grandma had passed away. I couldn't believe it. I was devastated. It felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest.
The next day I started thinking about the dream I had the night before. It made me wonder if my Grandmother visited me in my dreams when she passed. She wanted to say goodbye to me. That thought kind of comforted me but at the same time I felt upset. Not just upset because she died. But upset because she looked so sad in my dream. I don't think that she was ready to leave us behind.
I honestly think that she was telling me goodbye in my dreams.
I often think about that dream, but I also often think of all the good times we had when she was alive. I would give anything to see her again.
She was an amazing, kind, strong, beautiful, and loving woman.
I dedicate this entry to her. I miss you Grandmama, so much, and I love you. I will always love you, Grandmama.
Rest in peace.
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Submitted By: Rachel Livingston
